Resilience in Action: Served with a Side of Egg McMuffins

My dad was complex.. He always dreamed of working for himself. That dream came true for him when he started his own contracting business in 2003. As a highway contractor by trade, he launched a specialty construction firm focused mainly on environmental compliance.

As I was finishing college, his business was growing steadily. He was very skilled at managing the operational side but struggled with the idea of expanding without some administrative support. For both of us, my move back to the town I was born in was both a blessing and a challenge. 

Most mornings at the office  began with him tossing an Egg McMuffin onto my desk, accompanied by his trademark line, “Don’t ever say I never gave you anything.” That little breakfast ritual was part of our daily banter.

My dad ate out frequently.I learned this habit came from his teenage years when he couldn’t afford food. Working together brought us closer. I often stopped by the office on weekends to find him tinkering with computers. Often, we would visit job sites together to simply chat. 

I also noticed that he had a complicated relationship with his employees. He often tolerated unfinished work and manipulative behavior because he believed he couldn’t complete the job without their help. Looking back, I realize that his tolerance reflected how he felt about himself — I don’t think he believed he deserved better or that he was capable of better.

My dad often acted in self-sabotaging ways, as if the things he wanted were so close, yet forever out of reach. Adversity seemed to follow him constantly. It was especially sad because, despite what he might have thought about himself, he was very smart.

It has taken me many years since his death in 2006 to understand the battles he was fighting within himself. Although he seemed resilient by moving forward from challenges, he never fully recovered from the inner struggles that plagued him. If I had the chance today to tell him one thing, it would be: “you are enough.”