Grief is universal, but the way each person experiences it is unique.

I was 25 years old—still a child inside, with a barely developed brain facing the grim realities of adulthood. Family and friends tried their best to support me, but did not know how. While life carried on for others, I was left behind and expected to just move forward. But I couldn’t. 

Overnight, I lost not just my dad, but my identity, my job, and my livelihood. I was staring down a mess so overwhelming, it felt like a heaping pile of hot garbage left behind for me to sort through.

The pain of losing someone without warning is an experience that is impossible to put into words. The experience is  like having a video of that moment replaying over and over inside your mind—constantly on, impossible to turn off. Over time, the volume may come down a little, but it never mutes. There is no one that can take that pain away.